The Paradoxical Concept of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is perhaps one of the most paradoxical concepts effecting the Christian soul.  On one hand, we are unambiguously to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Jesus; on the other hand, we are to love others as ourselves.  In Old Testament Law, no blemished lamb is to be sacrificed; only an unblemished lamb is sacrificed.  Likewise, no soul can be denied before it is first deemed worthy of unblemished sacrifice; denying self is a sacrifice, and only the unblemished/redeemed (washed in the blood of Christ) sacrifice is acceptable.  Only when we get it right, when a healthy version of our soul emerges, do we then sacrifice that soul/self in order to attain something transcendent.

It is clear that we are made for something more than what this lifetime in mortal flesh offers.  Only by denying our full privileges here on earth are we promised full privileges elsewhere.  A true and knowledgeable esteemer of self would forgo its immediate fulfillment while yet mortal and wait to fully orb after their self is transformed and robed in immortality.  Faith and patience of the saint are required and is contrary to the fear and impatience of carnal flesh.  Indeed, “Look at the proud one, his soul [self] is not right within him, but the righteous will live by his faith [in the true God]” (Habakkuk 4:2).  Faith and patience are required because where God is taking us is well beyond the boundaries of our mortal lifespan and understanding; patience because we are yet within the boundaries of time, and faith because the revelation is larger than our present capacity to grasp it.  Denying self is not an end in itself, nor is God being masochistic requiring it from us.  Just as a parent knows better than a child the perils of eating candy with impunity, so God knows pitfalls we humans cannot yet comprehend.           

As C. S. Lewis so wisely put it, “The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself.  We are told to deny ourselves and take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire.  If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith.  Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised to us in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased.”